When militant extremist, Scottish Daily Mail commentator Gerald Warner describes 'political correctness' as the new fascism, he whitewashes its opposite: political incorrectness or sleaze. 'Political correctness' is the new catechism of the far right. Lost in such a vulgar term lies a genuine attempt at improving our lot. Like Edinburgh City Council's director of corporate services, David Hume's attempt to put forward a report that suggested monitoring "on the grounds of gender, ethnicity and disability, and if possible sexual orientation," (let me highlight that for you). Now it wasn't the disabled, women or blacks that caught the attention of the Daily Record. Of course not, it was gays. And the "council's bid to be as politically correct as possible..." The Scottish Daily Mail found councillors claiming it "impinged on civil liberties". The Daily Record shrieked: "WE WANT TO KNOW YOUR SEX SECRETS". Daphne Sleigh was wheeled in to blast: "I don't think someone's sexual orientation is anyone's business. I'm sure some staff will be horrified..." Er... Where was she at the office Christmas party I wonder? Phil Gallie, the queen of homophobic soundbites blasted: "I think it's obscene". Without making it absolutely clear staff were not about to have their houses ransacked by police - standard practice in some occupations, I have to say - the Daily Record sought the advise of a gay manual council labourer. He advised: "...If my colleagues found out I was gay, I'd never hear the end of it". Which went some way to justify the council's actions. The Daily Record's ugly sister, the Sunday Mail was forced to make a point. It came in the lardaceous shape of that sinister, tabloid-tubby skinhead called Gary Keown. He scorned the "cancer of political correctness," that had beaten the poor dear into submission. Eating the country alive, it was, turning children into confused wretches! Leaving "no future in remaining a fairly strait-laced, family-conscious taxpayer with no criminal convictions". (And how the rest of Europe laughed)! Would Keown the Clown like to get up off his fat arse and leaf through some old copies of his group's newspapers? Did women get out of the kitchen and onto his sheets with just a "faultless CV?" I think not. Keown appeared to be not just misogynist but racist too. "Sadly, it means some guy with a faultless CV could lose out on a job to a less talented individual, just because the boss is under pressure to have more blacks... Convicted killer Winston Silcott should have been strung up... And it is a disgrace that Scotland's football team now has a Jamaican who hadn't even set foot in the country until last week". He begged that "decent and clean-living people be given back their rights". But that didn't appear to include gay readers. He recommended "the PC mob" be burned at the stake before turning on Glasgow's Glasgay festival. This was all a pointless waste of time. "I really don't feel the need to pull on a feather boa and liberate myself in a public park. Sadly, I have no kids otherwise, I could feign some faith in the system by roping in a couple of sex pests as babysitters". Oh, dear! I fear we might have another closet homosexual on our hands. Just take a look, he even looks like John Macleod! Thank goodness, the Sunday Mail now has a new editor. Peter Cox. Expect changes!
THE PROPOSED REPEAL OF SECTION 28
(Section 2a of the Local Government Act) in Scotland.
When, during the eighties, Margaret Thatcher leant out the window of the House of Commons and saw the banner Ken Livingstone, leader of the Greater London Council had stretched across County Hall to show the latest unemployment figures: Gays paid. They paid with a piece of Tory bloody-mindedness called Section 28. Thatcher was supposed to have been so angry, she even sent a journalist from the Daily Express to search for evidence to embarrass Livingstone and expose him as a homosexual. The right-wing press fuelled public anger by exposing a trend they labelled 'political correctness' in 'loony left' councils. They exaggerated stories of black lesbian self-defence groups and vilified 'proselytising' homosexuals. The promotion of homosexuality by councils was banned. Dame Jill Knight, Conservative MP, for Birmingham, Edgbaston, achieved this in 1987. She submitted a clause at committee stage, it was debated the following day, and heard before a full House of Commons just before the Christmas recess on 15 December 1987. Section 28 of the Local Government Act 1988 (2a in Scotland) states that: 'A local authority shall not (a) intentionally promote homosexuality or publish material with the intention of promoting homosexuality; (b) promote the teaching in any maintained school of the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship.' Now, backed by the Liberal Democrats and the Scottish National Party, the Scottish Executive is preparing to kick it off the statute books. Before anyone had even seen the consultative document, conservative politicians, some religionists and press commentators had pounced. The Scottish Daily Mail undermined what little credibility they had left for fair and impartial reporting by describing Cardinal Winning's warning as having "won widespread support". (Any positive portrayal of sexuality will usually evoke 'outrage' in the Scottish Daily Mail). In fact, Winning's outburst was even criticised in an editorial in The Herald and spokesperson for the Catholic Church, Ronnie Convery had to do some serious back-peddling when he was interviewed by Lesley Riddoch on BBC Radio Scotland. The Scottish Daily Mail's editorial thought the repeal of Section 28 was "to be deplored" and declared children were being "turned into pawns of political correctness it is downright immoral". The tabloid underlined its support for the Scottish Executive legislating on issues of "substance," legislation tailored "to the needs and wishes of the Scottish people... Section 28 is not in that category". They pointed out that the Executive were doing "devolution a disservice". The Daily Record waved a hanky at the passing moral militia. "GAY SEX LESSONS FOR SCOTS SCHOOLS," they hollered. "Another unnecessary blunder". Then jumped on the reactionary bandwagon to explain that "the reaction of most right-thinking Scots will be to ask if our ministers and MSPs have nothing better to do... Spending taxpayers' money on the promotion of homosexuality... gay 'propaganda.'" The Daily Record thought the Scottish Executive wanted to create "the most politically-correct country in Europe". (That's a laugh, that is)! "Wisely, Tony Blair's government have shelved plans to repeal Clause 28. They have better things to do and quite right, too". And reckoned: "Opponents will claim it will encourage impressionable youngsters to flirt with homosexuality and could lead to abuse". Now who do you think the editor had in his pocket to register a big "NO" to the repeal of Section 28? Why, agony aunt, Old Mother (Joan) Burnie of course! It is quite disgraceful that any agony aunt could stand up and say how she "cannot quite grasp" how its repeal would eliminate bullying. And even further to suggest MSPs had far more urgent business to deal with! "It's not as if homosexuality is something which dare not speak its name in schools," She huffed. Not with words like perverts, poofs and fags, no! "Playground jibes about dykes went over my head at 13!" She scoffed. (This old bird was educated in a convent, by the way)! Before she'd finished, Burnie was plucking the petals off that delicate flower of heterosexuality. "God knows adolescence is confusing enough without 'Sir' or 'Miss' standing up in class and urging everyone to come out and be glad to be gay". She was afraid teachers would promote it as a "better alternative than the boring old heterosexual lifestyle". Kids just can't wait to sign up, can they? "Besides, as Michael Portillo and a thousand public school-boys can testify, sexual preferences can change". And was Old Mother Burnie calling this a justification for keeping Section 28: "We have enough straight teachers preying on their young pupils without the gays joining in". You've gotta laugh, haven't you? Recently, a freelance journalist told me how a friend working for the Daily Record had apologised to them saying: "Oh, we know the Daily Record's homophobic, but we're not!"
Scottish editions of the Daily Telegraph's resident reactionary begged: "I try I really do to understand..." Not fooled by his weasel words. Alan Cochrane soon delivered a predictable blast of moral outrage to Wendy Alexander's "ridiculous claims... Where is her evidence that Section 28 encourages intolerance?" He sniffed. You mean he doesn't know? "Next take her claim that Section 28 prevents teachers form counselling the victims of 'homophobic' bullying and ask her; how so? Give us one example of a teacher who could not help the victim of such bullying because he or she feared being thrown in jail because of this piece of legislation". But give me one good reason why it should remain? Wendy's performance was dismissed as "laughable... Sanctimonious arrogance... Inflicting a new morality upon us" and then he squealed: "Which good cause will suffer as a result of money being switched to fund homosexual organisations". But he really tries to understand; you can see that, can't you?
The Sunday Mail ushered in Steven Flannery and Michael Johnston, a gay couple who opened Glasgow's Bar 10 and run the Brunswick Hotel in the Merchant City. They spoilt an otherwise promising article by giving them both a quick makeover to make them decent enough for all their readers in Motherwell to swallow: "Neither are political animals. They don't go on gay rights marches, display banners, or wear 'right-on' gay badges".
Tory list MSP, Phil Gallie was taking this new 'threat' of the repeal of Section 28 seriously enough to attract the attention of the Ayrshire Post: "Gallie asks schools for views on 'gay sex' law repeal - Boards and PTAs get letters on 'damage' to children". The report quoted him saying on 2 December: "But I want to gauge the feelings of people who matter. The only chance defeating this move which will damage our children is by extending the debate".
Glasgow's Evening Times began with a fluffy "gay people have every right to be recognised as equal... But..." Followed, of course, by a string of tired old clichés like how its removal would be "too great a risk to our youngsters" and how homosexuality shouldn't be promoted. (One wonders - with heterosexuality promoted so shamelessly in schools - how Bennet's manages to get packed to the gunnels every Saturday night). It was the perfect moment to discuss those "stringent measures against sex offenders" before delivering us "pubescent teenagers at the most vulnerable time of their lives," poised to tear up the Marmite motorway at the drop of a hat! In its report headed: "Labour will end gay lessons ban," Ann Allen from the Kirk's Board of Social (Ir)Responsibility had the screaming ab-dabs: "In the education of children, the promotion of homosexuality would be as wrong as the promotion of heterosexual promiscuity". If that were her idea of mix-n-match, I wouldn't trust her choice in separates, let alone anything else. And Lyndsay MacIntosh, the Scottish Conservative's law and order spokeswoman was also lined up to warn us: "Children have more that enough to deal with at school without having to consider alternatives to proper, monogonous, heterosexual relationships". Do they not know how much Section 28 - with no precedent in any other country in the world - ensures young people frequently bring gay issues to the top of the agenda?
Either the photographer who took the picture of Communities Minister Wendy Alexander for the Scottish Daily Mail was having a crap day, or Wendy's ferocious gait accompanying the predicable headline: "Minister faces a backlash on plan for gay lessons in schools" was deliberate. Aberdeen's Press and Journal found the same news "widely welcomed". Funny that! "What's so wrong about protecting our children from moral corruption?" Begged right-wing militant extremist, Gerald Warner, haunting the present day with a recipe for social order as unhealthy as Mrs Beaton's Victoria sponge. If the news stories in the Scottish Daily Mail contained only half the lies and propaganda that flowed from Gerald Warner's shocking reflection of his own sexual inadequacies, this was one sorry tabloid! The former speechwriter for Michael Forsyth polished his jackboots to describe the mood accompanying the Scottish Executive's bid to abolish Section 28, a part of the Ethical Standards in Public Life Bill due to come before the parliament early next year, as a "wave of hysteria". Warner called it the imposition of an "unpopular and immoral measure upon the British people". He believed the Government was launching a "propaganda offensive" to obscure the fact that "Section 28 is an important protection for the most vulnerable members of society our children against moral corruption funded by the taxpayer and, in extreme cases, the predatory activity of paedophiles". He twisted his words to take the reader one step further from lifting a ban on "promoting homosexuality" to prohibiting "homosexual propaganda" and spluttered: A clause that "prohibits propaganda in schools. What is wrong with that? Why should it be the responsibility of a local authority to promote any kind of sexuality?" So why then does Section 28 not include heterosexuals? With his stick banging very loudly on the ceiling, he called down to local authorities to insist that they should not "control their constituents' sex lives". Is it not enough, he begged that "children who can neither read nor write properly already spend far too much time having so called sex education beamed at them". Run that by me again? He blames this deluge of sex education in schools on "the mushrooming number of early teenage pregnancies". So Holland's rate of teenage pregnancies is seven times lower then Scotland's because of what? Do tell...! Displaying what I recognise as normally being the attributes of a closet homosexual, he waved his stick at "moral anarchy in our schools" throwing open their doors to "homosexual missionaries... School libraries may be flooded with books representing homosexual 'lifestyles' as normal, or 'cool'". (Oh, yes, please Mr Warner)! He claimed Section 28 was passed "reluctantly" to prohibit an "abuse of public money in grants to homosexual groups". Indeed, groups like London's Gay Switchboard that had to deal with thousands of distressing calls from Scottish "children". Such Tory bloody-mindedness rode the wave of "public and parental concern" orchestrated by the media in response to 'loony left' stories which are now generally acknowledged to have been manufactured by the Tory press. "...Never inclined to indulge in moral crusades..." Warner thought Thatcher's "instincts were libertarian; sexual morality, in her eyes, was a private matter". Yes, private, not because she was a libertarian, but because she was a prude. He found it highly significant Wendy Alexander delivered her speech to Glasgow University. "It belongs to the politically correct, gesture politics of a student union". Then, turning on his favourite bête noire, he frothed that Wendy's "absurd title as 'Minister of Communities', make her a caricature of political correctness". Just like he must be the caricature of it's opposite: political incorrectness. Yes that's right: Mr Sleaze! He accused Donald Dewar of "hysterical soundbites that we expect from Outrage or Peter Tatchell". Obviously he has never read St Peter's excellent papers or he would know our First Minister is not a patch on him. By the end of his column, Warner had skilfully manipulated the figures to declare "at least another 10 per cent... opposed to homosexual propaganda in schools". What was an accessory to his fact, was now his reality. But even if you were right Warner and you are most certainly not that is just one in ten. Yes Gerald Warner: one in ten! You are just one in ten! Hear what I'm saying, sweetie?
I don't know what disgusts me more. This Catholic leader's shameless homophobia or the picture of him in Scotland On Sunday handling children above a caption reading: "Winning argument". Cardinal Winning is not so much a religious leader as he is a political protagonist. Peppering his comments with tired clichés like 'political correctness' exposed the seasoned agitator. He deliberately twisted the "press reaction" into the "concern of many Scots". My, my! It hardly seems a whole century has passed since Mrs Alec Tweedie wrote in the Daily Record how she witnessed "a good sprinkling of... Catholic priests" joining "vociferously" in the singing of anti-Jewish songs. For any gay to follow the teachings of the Catholic church, Winning is at great pains to underline how we must behave, finding "joy and peace in living the virtue of chastity". In the recruitment of teachers, sports coaches, foster carers and the military, he believes discrimination against gays is "not unjust". Given the way the Catholic Church has dealt with the abuse of children by priests: He has room to talk! His prejudices, ignorance and proselytising of his own conservative agenda continued undaunted: "I worry..." he began in soft, fatherly tones. "That any repeal will be presented by the so-called 'gay-rights' lobby as victory in their battle to have the disorder that is homosexuality placed on the same footing as marriage and family life. We have already seen this tactic used before. Before the election we were told that all legislation would be given the 'family test' namely, would a given policy benefit the family? If not, it would have no place on the new government's agenda. Yet... the families of Britain were left to come to terms with the idea that predatory male homosexuals would be able to indulge in dangerous, immoral acts with their 16-year-old sons, while our legislators washed their hands of the whole issue, proclaiming it to be a question of freedom and equality". So what was the Scottish Executive to do? Raise the age of consent for heterosexual men to protect young daughters from their predatory ways? Next up were the pitfalls of the 'disorder' called homosexuality. Repeal of Section 28 would reduce the life expectancy of children, he warned, leaning on discredited statistics used by far-right American Christian groups. But appealing to the pocket of his dwindling listeners was surely going to be the most effective. Winning was quite sure people did not want "their council tax used to fund facilities for gay and lesbians which they do not enjoy for their own children". And he was equally sure the repeal would leave adolescents in a "fog of confusion" over their sexuality. To whom was he referring? How much was this a reflection of this celibate's own experience as a young man? And could this be the same Cardinal Winning who went on to respond to the ban on a monarch marrying a Catholic and staying on the throne? The Herald claimed he had said: "Catholics stood for freedom and equality before God and that the Act of Settlement was an anachronism". After putting his boot in over Section 28, he tried to mop up the mess. "Now is the time for reflection, not for knee-jerk reactions," he cooed, before promising a campaign against unconditional repeal by the Scottish Executive. His chief apologist, the 'Sexfinder General' Monsignor Tom Connolly stepped in to clarify his stand on discriminating against gays in The Scotsman. "He was doing anything but that... If people feel the Cardinal's words were discriminatory I am sorry, and I am sure he would be sorry too". Scotland On Sunday finished up by wheeling in Lyndsay MacIntosh, law and order spokeswomen for the Conservatives who stated firmly how she didn't want anything that "could encourage experimentation".
The new Daily Record building is coming along nicely on Glasgow's Anderston Quay. The design is innovative, refreshing, challenging and open. Can't you just tell I'm not talking about the newspaper! Men have been enjoying lap dancing without any fuss for years, but the moment women suggested doing it for women, the Daily Record busted the party with their petulant moralising. "SLEAZIER THAN THE MALE... An Edinburgh gay bar strip show is pushing back the boundaries of good taste," their headline rang. The same familiar cronies were wheeled out to register their disgust. Mrs Ann Allen, convener of the Kirk's Board of Social (Ir)Responsibility told everybody how it was "extremely sad... People would have to be pretty impoverished on a social and emotional level to go to these lengths for entertainment". What utter bollocks! Some of those girlies absolutely love showing off their bodies. And doing in front of other women? An opportunity not to be missed! Of course, the 'Sexfinder General,' Catholic spokesman Tom Connolly had to be in on the act. He told everyone how "sad" he was and for once I found myself agreeing with him. The reporters were flabbergasted to find an otherwise "douce Edinburgh matron," Edinburgh Tory councillor, Daphne Sleigh actually giving it the thumbs up! Bet they weren't expecting that when they called her! With the Scottish Media Monitor always reminding the Daily Record how important it is to balance their stories, they featured a "good liberal," Jean Rafferty who told them "lap-dancing is one the most vulgar methods of getting sexual satisfaction". The story was spread alongside a news story of "outrage" over the US comedy show Ally McBeal's plan to feature a lesbian kiss. The Sunday Mail had their own women-hating, tabloid-tubby Gary Keown wringing his podgy wee arms in the air over the "sordid lap-dancing club for lesbians". He declared damage would be done to the very fabric of our society. In what turned out to be a nice bit of advertising for The Fly Bar, the Scottish Daily Mail declared it "condemned" by "church leaders and family groups". Nice one, sisters! After its first night, reporter Marion Scott's exclusive in the Sunday Mail said the show "fell flat on its face". The header declared "Scots aren't fooled by tacky new lap-dancing club for lesbians". But why should 'Scots' be fooled? They know it was for gay girls, or as the Sunday Mail chose to put it, a "tattooed clientele".
The Big Issue in Scotland has slipped further back down the road of sexual repression. I have offered editor Ken Laird a feature portraying sexuality in a positive light following his banning of gay chatline ads. Instead, he gave Scottish Women Against Pornography space to spread their separatist propaganda in the shape of a one-sided argument in favour of banning erotica. "Should we allow this in our shops," they cried before presenting "...a world which is saturated with images of women and children who are degraded, humiliated and sometimes even murdered for gratification of men. Pornography is violence against women and children and we must protest about it". Women Against Pornography not only campaigned in America against male sexuality, but women's too. The group tried, in 1982, to disrupt a conference on female sexuality by advising serious academics it was a platform for perverts, child abusers and snuff moviemakers. Their perversion of statistics has already been documented. An old favourite on the American circuit was professional 'victim' Mary Steinman. Churches and the media all queued for tales of her appalling abuse starting from the age of three. Given her age, she demonstrated how sexual abuse was in existence long before 'pornography' was widely available.
Maggie from the strip-cartoon, The Broons waltzed into the local bowling club wearing a clingy black dress, sexy high heels, sat on her Paw's lap and planted a birthday smacker on his bald head. Scottish Women's Aid expressed "concern" at the objectification of women and the Scottish Sun charged the "barmy feminists" with "kicking up a right stooshie..". I think I can go along with that!
When Mandy wrote to Glasgow's homophobic Evening Times' agony aunt, Ruth the Truth for "expert help" in ironing out confusion over her sexual status, what did Ruth offer? The number of a counsellor, a bisexual group or some safer sex tips? Hell, no! Ruth suggested Mandy reach for the phone and call a premium-rate chatline! "I feel that contacting Gay X-change will help you to discover what support there is for you".
With three times more men now taking there own life in Scotland, New Labour's commitment to reduce this appalling statistic is as empty as the Tories when they were in power. A black and white picture of a "happy family," taken in the fifties, supported Old Mother Burnie's ramblings in the Daily Record. She remembered when real men "fought wars, sacrificed themselves for their country. They were the breadwinners, the lords and masters, kings of their own domestic kingdoms. Dad was at work, mum was in the kitchen and everything in the kindergarten was lovely... To most men it looked pretty damn good". All this, she reckoned, has been "hijacked" from the men by "ladettes..." If the Daily Record had got it wrong this time, they've certainly got it wrong before. In the mid-seventies, talented young men pricked up their ears to the call of David Bowie, dyed their hair and fled to London where the streets were paved with gold. Scotland haemorrhaged. Its talent fled Scotland's backward, religionist, parochial and repressed communities while the Daily Record just sat their blaming it all on unemployment.
"Is there a sex beast in your town?" begged the Scottish News of the World of its readers. Or "a perv?" The Scottish News of the World found two! The tone was set with the words: "INNOCENT children laugh and smile as they skip happily to school unaware that they're passing just yards from the lair of two evil kiddie-sex fiends". The tabloid even measured it: "Only 200 yards..". Michael Garven, 29 was convicted of a sexual encounter with a four-year-old girl and undergoes psychiatric treatment. Robin Millar, 55, "fondled" a handicapped girl. They were moved to a chalet in Kilmartin, Argyll, "owned and run by learning disabilities charity ENABLE" understood to have been "booked by mental health experts ordered to give treatment to the two sex offenders". The Scottish News of the World told how "the lair overlooks the playground". The tabloid demanded to know why parents weren't told. Probably because, as one man told their reporter: "Everyone will be horrified when word gets around about who these men are and why they are here. I can't see them staying around very long after that. They will have to move on somewhere else before some of the local men get to them". A local mum cried: "...These perverts could be watching my child". Francis Ward, 60, described by the same tabloid as "twisted... scum" and "the beast.., had holed up..." in a rusty camper van "yards from a primary school" in Aberdeen. "Furious locals now want action..." Ward was forced to move his van inside a nearby police station compound. What can be gained by encouraging the public to take the law into their own hands? The Sunday Mail's Gary Keown knows. After a burglary he advised: "Far better to hit first and ask questions later. Give the guttersnipe a good kicking because that's more likely to knock some decency into him... It's dog eat dog. That's why you're entitled to do what it takes to deal with scum". So never mind all that police, courts and social work bollocks! "YOUR SCOTTISH NEWS OF THE WORLD GETS THINGS DONE... FAST" And so they did. "SORTED IT!" They stamped over the case of the "two sick paedophiles," Garven and Miller who were forced to move "to a cottage near the town of Ardrishalg". The Scottish News of the World got a slap on the back from its readers. "'Once again the News of the World has done the public proud...'
'It is every parent's right to protect their children...'
'Paedophiles like them should be sentenced to live on a deserted island for the rest of their natural lives. They should be left there with no food and no shelter only the clothes they stand in...'
'They should have locked them up and thrown away the key...'
'If Garven and Miller are hounded everywhere they go, then they deserve it...'
'I felt physically sick when I read about those two awful paedophiles I can't even bring myself to write their names...'
'Why are they still free to do as they like...?'"
The Sunday Mail loves 'normal.' Can't get enough of it! In this case, giving three girls whom played rugby a makeover. They looked perfectly OK in their rugby shorts, and confessed to being "more at home on a muddy rugby pitch," but the Sunday Mail had to spoil it with a bit of slap, low-cut frocks and some natty jewellery.
"Is Scotland ready for this French shocker?" Only, for "Scotland," read the "Sunday Mail" who asked of the film Romance, "is it just porn?" Along with John Beyer of the National Viewers and Listeners Association, MP Gerald Howarth, chairman of the Commons Family and Child Protection Group was ushered in to come up with a new one on me: "Small wonder 12-year-old girls become pregnant when films like this are available". The only cinema in Scotland showing it so far is "Edinburgh's Filmhouse".
What is it that came back to "haunt" Brian Potter? The Scottish Daily Mail fears that "...friends remember him losing a lot of weight and looking quite unwell. Now the episode has come back to haunt him". Brian Potter was forced to resign from his post of Scottish secretary of the British Medical Association over an alleged "relationship, which involved a young Asian man living in Edinburgh". Now I can sleep at night!
For Scottish editions of the Mail On Sunday, Fidelma Cook wrote about a "bizarre magazine interview... After acclaimed roles in GoldenEye and the Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman movie Eyes Wide Shut, the 34-year-old Scot has put his growing box-office reputation at risk by 'coming out,' saying he is bisexual... His coming out is sure to disturb film bosses..." Film bosses will be less disturbed by Alan Cummings' revelations than reporters on Scottish editions of the Mail On Sunday, I think, but they'll be grateful for the publicity nonetheless. Perhaps Mail On Sunday readers will be relieved to know Alan Cummings now admits only to being pansexual!
What on earth did newsreader Simon Willis think he was doing? He "was not available at Beeb HQ in Glasgow but an insider said: '...It's not quite what is expected of a presenter.'" He was out hillwalking when he fell in a burn and took off all his sopping wet clothes! Yes, it was printed in the Scottish News of the World at the turn of this century!
Phil Gallie was resuscitated by the Scottish News of the World to blast: "It's sick. Customers should give a wide berth to shops that stock it". What is it? It's Tyson! Billy doll's well-hung black friend. Gallie thinks, "Scots should rise above it".
When the Catholic Church in Scotland paid a 12-year-old English girl to have her baby, I wondered if she had ever received adequate sex education or had been offered advice on contraception? Obviously not! The Scottish Daily Mail called in Dr Trevor Stammers to offer the ludicrous advice: "Fear works better than condoms". The kindly doctor wrote about the "fear and self disgust which flashes across an apparently innocent face when I have to break the news to a schoolboy or schoolgirl that he or she has some sexual infection... We live in a society saturated with sex". Not that I would have noticed!
How determined are we to deliver our repressed and narrow views on sexuality when the sight of something as natural as the human body becomes somehow 'unnecessary' and 'obscene?' Three sixth-formers were disciplined when they ran on stage at a charity concert in Edinburgh, hiding their cocks behind their guitars. The Daily Record was on hand to report the outrage and how they had been "hustled off stage by horrified staff..." Whipping away their guitars for a final full Monty in front of "children as young as 11" was not going to earn points with the Daily Record who soon found a "horrified" parent to register her disgust. "People get arrested for less than what those boys did. They should be ashamed of themselves". I, for one, sincerely hope they are not!
The Daily Record was appalled to find women boxing in Seattle. Especially when they won! "The guy never stood a chance in a despicable battle of the sexes. Never mind that the male 'fighter' was such a wimp he kept landing low blows and lost on points. The fact that it took place at all debases the former 'noble art.'"
It all happens in Forres! (Not)! Night club owner, Charles Geddes, 51 was charged with 'shameless indecency' and put on the sex offenders register for getting clubbers to flash for a free drink. Or, as the Scottish Sun put it: "To expose themselves in front of dozens of stunned partygoers". Yup! Blokes flashing too! Defence solicitor-advocate Ian Cruikshank said: "It was maybe the first time Forres had seen it". Oh, come on! No one watches Sky TV in Hicksville? Aberdeen's Press and Journal tried to be very brave about this and pointed out: "...Unemployed Forres landscaper, David Ferrier, 34, leapt up on stage and pranced in front of clubbers with his trousers around his ankles, exposing himself". The Scottish Sun was more prolific: "The women flashed their breasts and the 34-year-old man showed his manhood". The Herald added that one of the girls was 15 and pointed out the name of one of the cocktails on sale: "Sex on the Beach". RAF trainee Claire Taylor, 23 confidently told the court: "I didn't really think twice about it". In the Press and Journal she said: "It didn't particularly shock me that sort of thing doesn't and I got a big cheer". Hugs for {{{Claire}}}! The beak thought otherwise and decided they "were subject to corruption they were persuaded to do something indecent". Someone kick Forres into the 21st century for me!
The Glaswegian found Sisley "gay kiss advert on bus sparks outrage... The advert on the bus reveals two sexy women leaning towards one another in what looks like a simulated kiss". Where was the outrage? The Glaswegian doesn't say, because "despite the explicit nature of the adverts..." (Oh, pleeease)! "FirstGlasgow have received no complaints".
In a report headed: "Criticism of judge's support for gays to adopt". Forward-thinking Dame Elizabeth Butler-Sloss, one of the country's top judges said was all right! The Herald countered the argument with political loser Dr Adrian Rogers of Family Focus who, with links to far-right religious nuts in the States, spat: "Research in the USA has shown that where a gay couple brings up a child there is a greater incidence of abuse and homosexuality". Not in Indiana apparently. Earl 'Butch' Kimmerling, a noted evangelical with a record for slamming gay rights was sentenced to 40 years after he forced his foster daughter to engage in oral sex. All the while he protested at her joining her three brothers who had been adopted by a gay couple.
They looked like the Stepford Wives, lining up to have their photographs taken for two of Scotland's most sexually repressed newspapers: The Scottish Daily Mail and the Daily Record. When Judy Owen challenged sexism in the workplace - which she claimed included bosses referring to women players as 'dykes and lesbians', and being told that ladies were not allowed to wear trousers - she took the bosses at the Professional Golfer's Association to court. The Scottish Daily Mail claimed the PGA was "proud of its equal opportunities record half its staff are female". Chief executive Sandy Jones told the Mail: "Just because we haven't got a written-down policy does not mean to say that we don't actively practise equal opportunities". When Judy arrived at the court, her 'work-mates' were waiting for her "all wearing dresses and skirts to show their solidarity with their bosses". One of the wives told the Daily Record how much they liked the "happy atmosphere" of where they worked.
The way the press manufactures 'outrage' is legendary, and so easy in cases of a sexual nature. The Scottish Daily Mail found a transsexual. A "tall and glamorous blonde who rolls up... to give advice and guidance to troubled youngsters across Aberdeenshire" on a Children's Panel. Thing is, government agents see "no reason for complaint" but the Scottish Daily Mail beg to differ and find "her background has been greeted with concern by family groups..." The tabloid set about describing how she "lives alone" and turns up for work "dressed in a dark skirt..." This quickly became the "Strange case of a transsexual who sits in judgement of youngsters". And why shouldn't she? Zara Strange fought hard enough to get access to see her own children. Niall David, clerk of the Aberdeenshire Children's Panel advisory committee sharply told the Scottish Daily Mail: "Aberdeenshire Children's Panel has a transsexual member. What is wrong with that?" This disgusting tabloid, in a piece by Lesley Roberts soon found an unnamed panel member to malign her. "No amount of make-up or feminine clothes can hide obvious masculine features. There are difficulties in working in the uneasy atmosphere that has been created". Then they dragged Dr Adrian Rogers of Family Focus to proclaim her a "recipe for chaos". Hmm! A bit like letting him stand for the Conservatives in Exeter. The electors turned away in the droves to vote instead for an 'out' homosexual!
The Daily Star of Scotland focused on a "teenage victim's gay video agony". 19-year-old Steven Paterson took part in a gay video watched by lawyer Julian Danskin in his office in Leven, Fife. But a victim of what? Danskin was described as a "MARKED MAN... Shamed... Beast... Jeered by the angry crowd... Child sex pervert... Balding, bespectacled bachelor..." and "evil..." Because young Steven Paterson took his own life? His brother was reported saying: "My brother died through this case. He was in the video and he was ashamed that it might come out in the press". If I recall, at the original trial of the men who stole the video from Danskin's office, Judge John Wheatley criticised Danskin for not revealing who was on the video. "...Steven committed suicide last year after being interviewed by police probing the Danskin case..." Newspapers like the Daily Star of Scotland are quite happy to deliver to their readers a young "victim," dragged kicking and screaming to appear naked in front of the video lens of a 'porno' film. If justice is to be seen to have been done, this view must be challenged. Danskin went on to undergo a lengthy police investigation which resulted in a conviction of "vile attacks on young boys". He was convicted of 'shameless indecency' towards a 25-year-old when he was between 14 and 18 and two offences against a boy aged between eight and 14. Danskin denies all charges. The defence argued both were heroin addicts and proven liars. The Sunday Mail, whose reporters sparked the investigation, gloated: "POLICE PRAISE MAIL FOR NAILING B.B. SEX BEAST... Fife Police thanked the Sunday Mail for the 'responsible' way we dealt with the information". The Daily Star of Scotland concentrated on the drama: "One woman screamed: 'You're a beast, Danskin...' As the pervert was whisked away to face a three week wait before sentencing, an angry crowd jeered and a woman screamed: 'I know what you look like Danskin. It will be me who will be appearing in the dock next for murder.'" And so now does the rest of Scotland. Julian Danskin was jailed for 18 months.
The huge gap between Anglo American attitudes and that of Europe could not be more visible than in the case of an 11-year-old Swiss-American boy who faces charges in the States of aggravated incest and sexual assault on his five-year-old sister. A neighbour reported seeing him engaging in 'predatory sexual behaviour.' His family claims he was only helping his little sister to pee. He was woken up in his home in Evergreen, Colorado, was forced to wear shackles and thrown in a juvenile prison cell before being put into foster care. There are huge protests in both Germany and Switzerland, backed by the Swiss tabloid, Blick. The boy insists he has done nothing wrong while US prosecutors are trying to say he has been exposed to erotic videos shown at the parent's home.
Bishop Holloway gets nul points for diplomacy according to Anthony Armstrong in the Scottish Daily Mail. "The Holloway defence of Tatchell can only revive unhappy memories of the unseemly scenes in Canterbury Cathedral when the activist and six other gay demonstrators invaded Dr Carey's pulpit... waving placards and shouting 'shame, shame.'" Challenging a dictator? Just not cricket, is it, Armstrong old boy? What is the Scottish Daily Mail so afraid of that they haven't the gall to give Peter Tatchell a right of reply? As the Right Honourable Lady said: "You're frit!"
